Life of A Freaking Fantastic Fangirl

I'm seriously done with SM. Lol. Some days I'm ok with it but most of the time, I'm just done with it. It's tiring. Being the stuck up snob I am, I don't talk to people and sometimes I can go through an entire day without talking to anyone. I'm looking forward to a mini getaway to Batam next month before the big one; Seoul in June! Excited is an understatement. Planning the itinerary is tiring because there's so many things to do and having to plan when and where and how is boring. I just wanna go there already. Will be gone for almost 2 weeks from work which is totally fun. I need a break man, like seriously. --- I think time... Time doesn't really heal but it makes it just a bit better and let's you forget. You have to heal yourself. I don't know how long it'll take me to really let go of you. It might be never and that's a scary thing. To think that someone can be so permanent in your life. Even if we never see each other for y...

I think I'm believing in the saying that everything happens for a reason. Even if I can't figure it out at that time and I'm not willing to accept it, everything happens for a reason. I've been wondering why you happened. Why did you come into my life when fate had other plans for us. After too long of back and forths and pondering, I finally think I know why. Maybe. I wanted you for so long. So freaking long. You hit me like a truck and awakened feelings I didn't know I had. Well, now I wish I didn't have. See, the first day I met you, I felt a... Connection? Spark? Idk. I just felt something different about our encounter. I've honestly never felt that way before but I hope I get to experience it again. That day was my birthday and I think that was God's gift to me. Then I became a stalker. HAHAHA. I really was but it was just for fun cause I knew we'd never be friends. But looking back, all those random glances... Maybe you felt that spark ...

I swear times passes by too fast when you're not paying attention. Now that I'm in SM, it seems to pass by faster somehow. Oh, how is SM. I can't say I enjoy it but I can't say I hate it too. It's... OK. The morning shifts are tiring af and I have to fight the inevitable sleepiness which is like night shift sleepiness except you don't get to go home at 8am. Double mornings are worse. I'm like a zombie I swear. Even people can see that I'm tired lolz. Working with Alpha is great actually. I used to scoff when people said Alpha was better but after working with them, they're kinda chill and they give you tangos and you don't have to clear motors at the field counter. I feel touched when the team people know that I'm new to SM when my own team doesn't even know I'm in the same team as them /single tear rolls down my cheek Still haven't really clicked with the SM people. Well, I'm awkward so I guess maybe I'll be friends...