Life of A Freaking Fantastic Fangirl

I’m awful about your name. I still jump when I hear it. I still feel it rattling somewhere in my stomach. I think I’m jealous of anyone that gets to say it because it’s not my right anymore. Years from now I’ll be standing in a supermarket and someone will casually brush past me, your name falling from their mouth like confetti. I’ll drop everything that I’m holding. My knees will wobble in the way they only did when I was with you. Years from now I’ll still remember how your name tasted in my mouth and I’ll have to start missing you all over again. - Azra T. Why isn't your name something common. Why does it have to be so unique. It's annoying.

The Greek word for "return" is nostos. Algos means "suffering." So nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return. ― Milan Kundera, Ignorance

I'm not bitter about how things ended. I'm bitter that I was the only one fighting to save things when it should have ended way earlier. I'm so stupid for still clinging on. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I think I'm fine but the memories... I wish I could delete the memories. It all comes rushing back and I feel this hollow feeling in my chest and it gets a little bit hard to breathe. I'm gonna be fine. I have to be. The thing I call bullshit on is you said change is the only constant but how come you're the only one who doesn't change?

It's the first day of 2015. I've always wanted to do a review but of course, I'm a lazy ass so let's just see where this goes. My mind wanders a lot. Hahaha So 2014 was an extremely important year in my life. 2014 was the year I finally got what I wanted so badly and it was wonderful and amazing and made me feel alive.I discovered I actually had feelings! Gasp. I guess since all these feelings were new to me, I didn't know how to handle them. I acted immaturely; letting my heart rule over my head. So embarrassed about my behaviour. I was needy, whiny, clingy and looking back, I guess it was because I didn't want to accept that things were never gonna be how it was. I realise I cannot force things to be how I want them to be. I can't force people to feel the way I feel about them. Which leads me to this. 2014 was the year someone 'fell' in love with me. I didn't know what love meant, I'm still unsure now, so I couldn't say I love...