Life of A Freaking Fantastic Fangirl

I'm so frustrated with myself. Like why can't I get over something or not be bothered by it. I know I shouldn't be bothered by it and it frustrates the heck out of me when I am. Like geez. Is there an off switch for feelings? I just wanna be a robot like Sheldon Cooper. A part of me wishes you'd go so I don't have to go through the pain of seeing you every day and not being able to talk to you or spend time with you. I knew I'd be like this when I told myself I wouldn't. Dammit. I don't know. I'm really tired of feeling shitty, I just want to be... I'm not too sure. Normal. I watched a movie yesterday and it gave me all the feels because that could be me, 20 years down the road, always holding a flame for someone who can never be mine. I'll probably die a sad old woman surrounded by... I don't even like cats that much.'

We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough As you drive me to my house I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down You and I both have to hide on the outside Where I can't be yours and you can't be mine But I know this, we got a love that is homeless Why can't I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours It's obvious you're meant for me Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep But I'll never show it on my face But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless Why can't you ...

Just got back from Tokyo 2 days ago and it was awesome. Like seriously. When can I go back? So a summary of my week long trip. Day 1: Roppongi (Sumiyakiya) + Tokyo Tower Day 2: Odaiba + Shibuya Day 3: Disneyland +Shibuya (Gyumon) Day 4: Akihabara + Asakusa (Naritaya + Nakamise Street) + Tokyo Sky Tree Day 5: Imperial Palace + Ameyayokocho + Ikkebukuro (Pokemon Centre + J-World + Sakura) Day 6: Shinjuku Park + Shibuya (Ippin) Day 7: Asakusa + Shibuya (Hanasakaji-san) Day 8: Akihabara + Tokyo Station + Flying off Fun trip because of the amazing people. Hahaha too much laughter and lame jokes and Syak and I trying to speak all the Japanese we knew. Tokyo is strange. Land of vending machines but no trash bins in sight. But the place is clean though and their hospitality is amazing. The weather was just nice, not too cold and I think I adjusted to it fairly well cause I could walk around with just a long sleeve...

Been u/s eiacs and bikes for the past few shifts. Total surprise when Jae messaged me and said that I was u/s cause they totally didn't give us any warning. It's ok. You gotta be more alert and really look cause sometimes you're sleepy as fck. I'm so grateful to Kak Jajah cause she really taught me a lot about bikes even when she wasn't my mentor cause we got put with whoever they put us with lol. If they hadn't pulled us during the night shifts, we probably would be on our own now. Tasssss is bacckkkkk. Didn't see her before work but saw her otw to chops room to put my chop box. We kinda instantly smiled at each other even when I really didn't feel like it. HAhahaha. Then she had the cheek to text me to say that she didn't ignore me. October means 1 more month to Tokyo! Woooooooo. Watch me pack and plan a week before. #teamlastmin

Finally saw my name on the train roster after donkey years. HAHAHA. They were putting it up one by one and I scanned through the usual car rosters and didn't see my name then they handed me the last paper and bam, my name was there. Had to do stats with Illy. A lot of cancellations cause I mangkuk forever but it was fun. Had to go DB last but it was for only 30 mins so that was ok. --- Elections are over and wisely won. Cue outrage and disbelief. I think the only reason people voted PAP was because the Opposition parties just didn't cut it. Seriously, I didn't agree with some of their policies and I don't want a bunch of clowns being in charge of my future for the next 5 years so I guess we all voted for the tried and tested. I couldn't swallow some of the comments being thrown online. I hope whoever decides to emigrate does so so they can feel what it's like to be a foreigner in a foreign country. Tkde logic bro. --- Team bonding tomorrow. Carouse...

I was supposed to blog about my birthday but I didn't. Oops. Well this year, I was sick on my birthday and I didn't get my ice cream cake so booooo. Oh yes, yesterday, went out for my 3rd driving lesson. The instructor was nice and we joked around a lot. Finally went out on the road where I could drive above 20km/h hahaha. I went up the curb the first time I did the sharp turn and almost hit the wall twice so there was a lot of emergency brake involved. When we finally went out on the road, I had to check my blind spot a lot of times which was the point of it and almost hit a car in front cause I was too focused on my blind spot HAHAHA. But it was fun although your feet and legs get a bit tired. After that, impromptu plan of going to Tamp to meet Tas. I was so nervous that it would be awkward cause we hadn't seen each other in what, 5 to 6 months but it wasn't. Hahahaha. Ate at Pastamania where she belanja-ed me cause I took a cab there. It was nice. Night shift...

The best month ever is here. Hehehehe Jalan Raya with SB last Saturday. Rented two cars so the whole process was painless but of course, we overshot at each house so we had to skip some houses. Kakak Sahi had to go off early for a date so the rest of us squeezed into one car to go to SAFRA Tamp for bowling. We did get some stares cause we were in our raya outfits but who gives a shit right. Hahaha. Reached home around 2 plus after sending everyone home. Definitely a good time with them. I realise guys don't really grow up, eh? Hahaha. They still crack lame, immature jokes and it's such a major throwback to poly days.  --- Something started again and I don't wanna get too attached again. But I didn't realise that it's been weeks of daily texts and I don't wanna go down that black hole of being whiny and needy. I think I've matured a bit cause I don't feel the need to text as often but there's this familiar feeling that's com...